Talking Behind My Back

One of the traits I find the most repulsive is the habit of talking behind someone's back. I do not mean the criticism of someone without them knowing. I do not mean teasing him while he's there, something like pulling his leg, or even gossiping. When someone teases another person, in that person's absence, that's what ticks me off

The other day I was in class when my friend Steve* commented on the absence of another dude Derrick* (here's a background on Derrick. He's one of the most gentle people I've met and plans on being a lawyer and having an arranged marriage at 25). 

What Steve said was something like "Derrick is probably absent because he got married lol" and smirked. Usually he would say this to a bunch of people for a cheap laugh. (I remember I was absent one day, and the next day someone asked me if I secretly adore washing vegetables, like it was my secret hobby. Later I came to know it was just Steve having a laugh about me being vegetarian).

So when Steve said that comment on Derrick's life choice I let out an audible "heh" and left it at that. Steve continued, thinking I hadn't heard the joke. I said something like "It isn't really funny bro" under my breath and explained that it's his lifestyle (something a self proclaimed liberal like Steve should respect). Moreover, there are arranged marriages too, it's not uncommon. The argument that ensued made me realise that Steve was living inside a bubble. Thankfully, a neutral friend supported my argument and Steve was made to look dumb, like he should have been in that instance. 

My point is not that one marriage is better than the other. Hell, it's not even that one should respect another man's choice. It's just that people shouldn't be Steves, and openly tease another man in his absence. Criticise him all you want, but teasing someone in their absence shows a lack of class.

*names changed